Wednesday, July 19, 2006
7/19/2006 11:30:00 pm
http://www.kupig.com/html/1453/Give My Love - Edward Chun
When I look in your eyes I can see that you
Wanna be with me but you’re so scared
And I don’t know what to say or do
But the tears keep falling from your eyes
And I know that
Times won’t change my love
And I can’t do nothing to keep you
Oh, I’ll give my love oh when I hold you tight
give my love through kisses oh so bright
And you know that I can’t change my love
Take my love all through the night
As the hours pass away
You think that love ain’t here to stay
Feel a beat from your chest
But you don’t give doubt a moment’s rest
You dream the future and all you see is dark
Listen to your heart, baby, the truth will set sparks
NowI’ll give my love oh when I hold you tight
Give my love through kisses oh so bright
And you know that I can’t change my love
Take my love all through the night
Now I’ll give my love oh when I hold you tight
Give my love through kisses oh so bright
And you know that time won't change my love
Take my love all through the night
I’ll give my love oh when I hold you tight
Give my love, through kisses oh so bright
And you know that I can’t change my love
Take my love all through the night
mabe it's just a fairy tale story
in reality or in drama
but i still believe that
at the last dance, we'll be together
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
Saturday, July 15, 2006
7/15/2006 07:03:00 pm
back from the IMF training. had a lot of fun! ha ha. poor jie long. ha ha. sorry la jie long. i shall sincerely apologise here to
jie long, I AM SORRY!!!!today had a lot of fun and sadly the fun comes from jie long. ha ha. so sorry la. auntie dun mean wat i said one. so dun take it to heart. : ) forgive auntie k.
well i reached there on time and manage to find the place. suppose to meet md and he will bring me there one. but in the end due to some personal matter i decided to go myself. reach the LT7 and got a shock initially. ha ha. but i am not the only one lor. hee hee. saw the small area and i tot that was where the training gonna took place. i was stunned lor until the other 2 cyas told me there are doors there to enter to the real LT7. ha ha. the structure of the LT is so different from SB one thats y i very blur. hee hee. anyway i wasn't the only one who tot so. ha ha. the LT was extremely small. think only around 1/3 of SB MLT. so pathetic. well most were late. the training in the end starts at around 9 plus plus. ha ha. siong chin wasn't there yet. so got ppl to call him. sc recently like got a bit of problem leh. dunno wat is it. hope he's ok. and somehow i everytime msn him he dun reply one.
we went in to chose seats. ha ha. not much seats left though. des actually wanted to sit in front cos got a semi empty whole row of seats. but when hui mei said that mario will be sitting next to her later i and shirlene quickly chose the back seat to sit. ha ha. she and me great minds think alike. ha ha. so we went to the back and seat. only got four empty seats. just nice for shirlene, des and denise and me to sit. then later zi rong and bernice went in and sit down at that row before we could say anything. ha ha. the great VP was late. so irony. still need ppl to call him somemore to check where he is. wat a GREAT VP he is.
during the first short break i was performing card trick to des. cos i am joining magic club bah. thats y des wanted me to perform card trick. hee hee. auntie old liao cannot shuffle cards. ha ha. the cards keep falling. ha ha. got all over the place. ha ha. later shirlene help me shuffled also dropped a few cards. ha ha. so confirm is not our problem is the card problem. hee hee. the cards are too slippery. hee hee. my trick was damn lame la. ha ha. but some how i think denise got just slightly stunned when i know the first card is j. ha ha.
so during the training we watched some videos and talk some stuffs. i wasn't very happy when the other cyas make some noise when they person are talking about the facilities of airport and the tour in airport later. come on la! there are ppl from SPARCs la! (sorry dunno how to spell it. hope i got it right) can't u guys just be more considerate towards them. yes we know the airport and the transit area but pls la they dun lor. just shut up ur mouth so that they are able to listen to wat the person has to say ma. and by making noise and crap is damn rude la. spare a tot for them can a not.
well through out the whole training i was looking forward to the lunch break. hee hee. went to eat kfc with shirlene. and talked some stuffs. after around 20 mins into our eating then we saw ben, timo, amanda, wei han, denise, des, ducky, wk. wonder where they go during that time. ha ha. after eating me and shirlene left first. saw ppl practising archery. saw someone who look like sab but cannot confirm. called her and she looked up. waved to her but she sort of ignore. so dun know we got the wrong person or not.
went to wait for the bus tat would bring us to the airport. and thats the start of jie long's nightmare. ha ha. "complain" to nellie that jie long stepped on his female classmate feet when taking the class photo. ha ha. then nellie was like looking for him. hee hee. then she couldn't see him. then she started saying that among all these tall ppl or walls here very difficult to see him one. lol. then when jie long appear he is dead. ha ha. nellie ask him about that then later it was pure suaning. ha ha. i keep on suaning him la. ha ha. he very poor thing la. kanna suan by me. hee hee. but i was having fun and i know it was bad and evil of me to have fun this way. sorry!
two buses came and i board the last one cos someone boarded the first one and i dun wanna be with in the same bus. for goodness sake. it is a week end. and i dun wanna spoil my weekend. lucky for jie long that he didn't board the same bus as me. ha ha.
so on the bus got a lot of guys and ben, timo, wei han, amanda, des, denise, md, li kai, ah beng, ben ho, marcus, daniel, etc. sorry couldn't rememebr so much. was crapping again. me and shir sit together. behind us was des and denise. then behind them was two guys. or was it ah beng? cannot remember. but i remember it was all the guys sitting in two. and on the other side was timo sitting alone then behind him was wei han and amander, behind them was daniel and ben, then it was li kai and md. so i was telling shir that after our roll all those behind one are couples. hee hee. well daniel didn't talk much. and i see timo sitting alone quite sian. so i ask ben to sit with timo instead. ha ha. something happen la then amanda say i am like timo's mother like that. ordering him do this do that and he do it. ha ha.
reached the airport. talk crap again. ha ha. walking near li kai, then i thinkis shir or whoever who said that do i feel inferior walking with li kai, ha ha. then poor jie long kanna suan by me again. heee hee. but he haven't rached yet. then i was telling li kai abt jie long would feel more inferior. ha ha. but li kai dunno who is jie long so i said i will introduce him to him later when i see him. ha ha. saw him le then drag him there. lol. so funny. and yes i know i am evil. wahahaha. then it was pure crapping. and jie long was so poor thing. we went for the tour and just so happen that he and me in the same group. wahhaha. more torture and suaning throughout the whole tour. ha ha. ben tan was trying to protect him. lol. then jie long talk some crap about me and i would go complaining to nellie. LOL. so funny. ha ha. sorry for been so evil. ha ha. but the whole thing seem so comical. ha ha. poor jie long keep kanna poke by me until his shirt got all the fingernail's marks. ha ha. i think he now seriously think i am a sadist. ha ha. i ask him wat would he do if i slap him. LOL. he said better dun cos he will flared up. LOL. then i said then all the more i wanna try for i wanna see him flare up. ha ha. and he gave up. ha ha. think he said something about me been wierd. ha ha. damn funny. hee hee. and ppl like to pronouce his name as jian long. lol. so poor thing. but he is a very very nice guy. ha ha.
that ends my day of training. hee hee. suaning and more suaning. ha ha.
once again Jie Long I am SORRY!!!!!!
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
7/15/2006 12:32:00 am
if only all the people on this world are less plotting and more trusting. this would be a beautiful world. if only u get whoever u woos. there be less sufferings. i dun mean myself. i mean as in u see those drama and thing. i mean somethign like owen case. if he got sophie that would be so nice. he life would be better and so does william. william didn't treat sophie as nice as owen does..
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
Friday, July 14, 2006
7/14/2006 11:58:00 pm
ha ha manage to make it for the thurseday entry. ha ha. one entry a day. ha ha. although not much ppl read my blog le. ha ha.
tml had a training for imf. but the sad case is i had to cancel my tuition session again. haiz. my student not very happy abt it i think. cos think i cancel lesson for three months le bah. and somemore she got a lot of questions to ask me. haiz. monday got FA test. the one and only module that i seriously care about. but i haven't study yet. haiz. so damn freaking scare la. i scare later didn't get an A again then disappoint the tutor. haiz.
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
Thursday, July 13, 2006
7/13/2006 03:52:00 pm
sort of know wat causes all my temper and mood swing for the past few days le. trying to cope with it. getting slightly better. just need some more time. and pls ignore me for all the crap i said the past few days and wat i may say for the next few days. just not been myself. needed some time to calm down and think things. :)
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
7/12/2006 09:46:00 pm
tml got formal presentation dunno wat to wear. so sian.. bro home cannot constantly use com. sian...
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
7/12/2006 12:33:00 am
got back from duty. duty was fun. but i did went the extra miles for today. go on my knees for pax and crap. fiddle with the powerswitch and all. sone my best le. cannot work means cannot work. looking at the time now i hope my the other pax are in the boarding gate E5 le. hope the gate didn't change last min. couldn't wait with her until 12 just to ensure the gate didn't change. iw ould miss my last bus and i got school tml. so all the best to her. and i doubt the gate will change so yeah. dunno y my eyes cannot open properly. sian. brother home today. more sian for me. ha ha. cannot really use the com without feeling the pressure. and cannot use it with freedom. ha ha. gtg.
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
Monday, July 10, 2006
7/10/2006 08:07:00 pm
well i was doing project until 4 plus. then might as well watch the cup. got my favourite penalty kick somemore. hee hee. make a wrong choice to slp after tat. my mood got worse. only had a nap of two hours. had to go school at 9 to meet the girls for project. know the girls wun be pucntual one so i tot go there at 9:15. bloody idiot. until 9:30 then got ppl come. and the so called leader come at 10. wat the hell. i got damn pissed. sms all of them. if by 9:30 not a single one of them come i am going to wash my hands off the project. i got damn pissed. then later went for ma1 tutorial. cannot miss that lesson anymore liao. so had tat lesson. after that see the crm project still need any help. then i came home le. skipped the rest of the lectures. damn pissed. extrememly pissed tat time. wanted to called somebody and shout. wanted to realise my anger but i didn't. came back home. mum was shock. tot i not feeling well. but i indeed is not feeling well. but not the sick kind. so i went to lay on the bed and rest while she bought lunch for me. then before she went out brother got home. hah. suppose to be mum alone at home one. suddenly the two of us just pop back. then she went down bought lunch for both of us. i finished my lunch and look went to open my freezer. and everday routine. hee hee. saw ICE-CREAM! just wat i need to destress. halfway through eating my ice cream father got home. suddenly whole family at home. so weird. later i went to slp. bro at home also cannot use com for projects. so went to slp. got up at 7 30. my mood got slightly better. not pissed le. hee hee.
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
Sunday, July 09, 2006
7/09/2006 11:15:00 pm
life has not been kind to me when it comes to friends. friends who i tot are my friends are indeed not my friends. had duty today. min dzi brings fun and laughter to my duty. marcus wasn't such a bad person afterall. find him ok and quite nice. he is so much better than most of my so called cya friends. i think afterall he just does not really knows how to express himself. maybe i am bit dumb or maybe i have always been running away from reality. but now i think i had to face it. there's no such thing as true friends or true love. i have never really met a true friend before much less a true love(not tat i really care about my love life now.) when things seems too good to be true it is indeed fake. cya are indeed a very messy place. full of hi-bye friends and fair weather friends. everything is messy. but since i have chose to stay i am prepare to be hurt. more over, cya is about serving pax. so far pax has not really hurt me so its ok. in my life i try to give all that i could to friends although i know i will get back disappointments. i lived with it and try not to think about it. for tats life. but seems like i can't anymore. i know such so called friends and situation i am having is not the first time and it definitely wun be the last time. i only have two solutions. one stop treating "friends" too nice. i not sure if i am able to really do tat. secondly is get used to it. i have a bastard and two bitches in my life. one bastard and one bitch from cya. one bitch from my school. but the bitch from my school doesn't affect me much and i doubt she will do anything to me. as for the bastard and bitch in cya... the bitch is only a bitch when it comes to friends. others i think she is fine. as for the bastard i only had one problem with him. the rest is fine.
well tats my life. i learn a lesson. be more careful when it comes to friends and the way i treat them. most of the ppl surrounding u are fake. now at this era and environment. minds have been polluted. be careful when it comes to who u can have as a true friend.
i know wat i have said above will hurt somebody maybe. but y bother to keep it in my heart and hurt myself when everybody are trying to hurt me.
i have always been a simple person. wat i ask for and expect is something very simple. but it seems like the more simple thing u ever ask for, the harder it is to get. somethings tat happen stays on and live on in my mind. from tat day i know there are no true friends in cya. but the little things they do after tat incident do touch me. however i still have to face up to reality.
i went missing but no one cares and no one ask. no one notice. i am as insignificant as a grain of sand.
watch remember the titan today. inside got some lines touches me. and one of the line is something tat i would like to tell mario the next time he says about my attitude. the movie was nice. very touching.
and to mario. ATTITUDE REFLECTS LEADERSHIP!
one last thing to add. life has been very kind to me when it comes to study.
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
7/09/2006 12:45:00 am
i dun like to bottle up my feeling. but there are times bo bian. had no choice but to bottle it up.
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
Saturday, July 08, 2006
7/08/2006 05:52:00 pm
i am having a serious headache now. very pain. cannot concentrate at all. if not i wun be here liao. can't concentrate. so much things to think and consider. haiz. a lazy bum like me can no longer be lazy. ha ha. will be doing the project uccd later in the night. now got too many distraction. and the uccd information are so difficult to find. the malaysia part are so tought o find. even their officialgovernement website dun have clear info. that shows one thing and prove one thing. i shall not say wat. u guys go think urself. singapore one is so easy to find. the government website has all the laws i want. in fact too many. i think all the singapore laws listed there liao. and in great details somemore. so nice. but a bit too chim in the language used. given my language power need a dictionary and read thru it a few more times to get the meaning. ha ha.
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
7/08/2006 12:20:00 am
the trust is broke once again. i am not sure to trust him or not when he said he didn't said it. for i can't believe if it was another misunderstanding. there are so many misunderstanding btw us until it is far too ridiculous. not sure who to believe and wat to believe anymore. these few days i feel so betrayed by so many friends that i no long know wat to trust or not.
today was the cya graduation. ha ha. had a some fun. ha ha. and the max softoy that i wanted soooooo much was out of stock!!! i can't believe it. out of stock then go and do more la. instead gave us a bag and a mouse pad. so dotzz. i want the softtoy!! but nvm. the bag i can use for the study trip.
was hanging around with steve today. ha ha. so funny. at the later part when we stop eating and was only drinking we find a small corner to sit together and chat. long time didn't chat with him le. so we chatted. he is so funny!!! LOL. he look at nesh and keep saying he is a malay! LOL! then just nice kaanthan was standing next to nesh. i ask him: " u see the two standing there, who is malay who is indian." LOL! he point to kaanthan said this one is indian. point to nesh said this one is a malay. LOL! so funny. told him so many times nesh is an indian le but he still dun get it. ha ha. then he say nesh dun have a dot on his fore head how he knows he is an indian or not. ha ha.
missed out a part. yes we are sitting alone chitchatting intially before my laughter attracted everyone to come over and join us. ha ha. was chatting with him when denise joinm us. or was it i ask her over i forgot le. hee hee. short term mermory. ha ha. introduce steve to denise earlier on. then denise was asking steve how to spell his name. denise ask if it was spelled S.T.I.F.F. LOL!!! that sets me laughing out loud. so loud until the ppl in the hall was looking at me. ha ha. normal thing and small case. hee hee. thats when i become the center of attraction. ha ha.. timo walked over to me and started crapping. say about the me eatting drugs again thats y so high. later desmond also walk over ask me to stop laughing. then later min dzi then many more. ha ha. so funny.
we were all playing having fun. then i threw timo's shoe away. ha ha. it flew over irene's head and reach to the middle of the hall. LOL. timo took off his the other shoe to walked over and picked it up. ha ha. so funny lor. LOL!!! think steve got a bit stunned. ha ha. he not used to the crazy side of the cya. and the "hanky panky" of cya. ha ha.
then later steve and des was comparing height and weight. then later length of the legs, etc. really got nothing better to do. ha ha. LOL!!
the ducky oso very cute. ha ha. say the way i sms and commented that seems like in reality i also like that. always hee hee and ha ha at every alternate sentence. LOL! so funny. hee hee.
the performance was funny and nice. went there very early. hee hee. the technician guy there also fun type la. ha ha. actually reply" u think i care." LOL. hee hee. so funny. ha ha.
today had some fun. but after the fun i still need to face the reality...
to trust him again or not to? can he really be trusted?
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
Thursday, July 06, 2006
7/06/2006 01:28:00 am
was trying to rush out the projects. but in the end still didn't manage to finish. run out of ideas of wat to write le. think a night rest would help me to generate more ideas bah. and i am still sick. so sian.. going to slp le. hope i can fall asleep. these few days a bit stress up. so had some difficulty before falling alseep. eat a lot today. but not as much as yesterday. act a foot long from subway. ha ha. broke once again. cos eat too much. ha ha.
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
Monday, July 03, 2006
7/03/2006 08:17:00 pm
today wake up feeling very sick. so skip school. didn't went to see doctor. lazy to see. so got back to my bed and get more rest. had cold sweat. dunno wat happen to my body. feels cold adn neck area feels hot. sweating profusely. somemore got block nose. dunno wat got into my body. so skip school for the day. and stay home to relax. think i push my mental too much. a bit mental break down. nice break today. ha ha.
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
7/03/2006 01:21:00 am
i am extremely sick now. having a terrible head pain. it is like there is a hammer hammering my head. and i having a running cum block nose. slight cough. cough is not so bad. healing soon. my mind can't think straight now. very block. still left with the b and fi hw. dun feel like doing. cos it is individual work. i only get myself implicated and no others. thus dun feel in the least bit to do. gotta pass it up tml. but damn sick la. and i feel like taking mc. can't no tim eto fall sick. so sian!!
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
Sunday, July 02, 2006
7/02/2006 11:18:00 pm
i just watch the tian shi wo ai ni. very touching. i was touched to tears. crying over the show. ha ha. i know i very stupid la. hee hee. but after watching the show i got to realised one thing. i have found back the trust and faith i used to have in love. once again i believe in love, i believe in myself and my future half(whom i have not met). love has always been wat i believe in and always will be. though i have once lost hope in it before. hee hee. but now i have gotten the feeling back again. ha ha. looking forward to my prince charming. ha ha. my future half. ha ha. i believe he is somewhere in the corner of the world and when the time is right we will meet each other. and that is fate. hee hee. i have once got back the trust and feeling le. ha ha.
and this makes me confirm one thing even more. ha ha.
going back to a life i once lived.
now i have a new goal. looking for my guardian angel. ha ha. the show is so touching lor. ha ha. although at the end i was blur out le. suddenly say he come back suddenly say he is gone. so messy. ha ha. but i dun agree with the part that says he is back though. ren shi bu neng fu sheng. a dead can never be alived again. the same as a lost love. once a love is lost it can never come back and never cherished hope that it will come back one day. for it will not.
overall the show touching plus romantic plus comedy plus lame. ha ha. the part that really cause me to cry was when i tot about the part whereby the guyu died in the tsunami. he and the girl started not long ago and had just propose to her. so sad that everything ended so fast and so sudden. i could feel the hurt and pain the girl was going thru. it brought me back to the feeling i had when someone passed away.
i just finished reading falling leaves. another sad story. y is my day today so sad leh? is life really that unfair or is it becos the fact that ppl dun dare to go after wat they want and in the end got treated unfairly? must kind ppl always be the one to get hurt? must ppl who always giving in in the end got all the hurt and insults? it says in the story "i hurt no one, so no one can hurt me." thats bull shit crap lor. and by the way the guy who say that hurts ppl. y is it that when guys say they hurt no one but they actually hurts ppl deeply be it knowingly or unknowingly? i hurt no one but constantly got hurt. and i got used to it le bah. at least my fate is far far better than adeline's therefore i should not grumble about my life or the hurt i got or watever crap. i am consider fortunate and i should not take things for granted.
now i got to go back to things that i hated to do most le. projects and homeworks.
where is my guardian angel?
give me something to believe in
cos' I don't believe in you anymore
